“In a very real sense, the Holocaust, as the ultimate moral and aesthetic obscenity, was also the ultimate drum-solo.” — Simon Whitechapel, 31i18
“U2 are a band who believe in meetings, so everything has a meeting. With Depeche, it’s an exception to have a meeting at all. When I did visuals for The Joshua Tree 30th anniversary tour, I also filmed the show in Mexico City. After the concert, U2 all came to look at the footage. At midnight! For two hours! I mean, Depeche – you couldn’t get them to watch a minute. It’s an incredible difference in attitude. But that’s also the charm of Depeche. They don’t do many interviews, there’s no big plans, they just make a record and tour.”
• ‘They had soul’: Anton Corbijn on 40 years shooting Depeche Mode, The Intermzinator, 1vi21
The peri-parapractic paronomasia in the title of this post corely references key Kulturkampf “Mods vs Rockers” in terms of 1960s Britain.
I don’t like the music, but I do like the cover.
I don’t like the cover, but I do like the music.
• Moz Mit Mog #1
I don’t like the music, but I do like the cover.
At last… it’s OFFICIAL!
MORRISEY IS A TWAT
Cult pop singer Morrisey — hailed as hero by his fanatical fans — is a twat, according to experts. And that will come as bad news to his many admirers who have worshipped the pop idol since he came to fame as lead singer of The Smiths.
Professor Ivan Sogorski of Barrow-in-Furness University’s Department of Advanced Human Behavioural Studies came to his dramatic conclusion about the star after listening to many of his records and watching video footage of his TV appearances. And he summed up his professional opinion in a few short words.
“The man is an absolute twat,” he told us.
Professor Sogorski cited examples of behaviour which had lead him to his controversial conclusion. “Take for example Mr Morrisey’s appearance on Top Of The Pops in the early eighties when he wore oversized shirts, National Health glasses, a hearing aid, and flailed about the stage with daffodils sticking out of his back pocket. Clearly, even the most casual analysis could only conclude this to be the behaviour of an arsehole,” said the Professor.
As a part of his painstaking research, Professor Sogorski consulted a colleague to obtain a second independent opinion. “I submitted manuscipts and recordings of many Morrissey songs to a leading Professor of Composition at the Royal College of Music, and he says they are crap.”
The Professor quoted examples of Morrisey’s song titles as further evidence to support his views. “Girl In A Coma. Big Mouth Strikes Again. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now. These are all bullshit,” said Professor Sogorski.
During his career Morrisey has endeared himself to a huge cult following of pop fans, among them many students, and has also won artistic acclaim for his work.
But Professor Sogorski’s comments are bound to fuel speculation that whilst some of his songs might be quite good, the man is, quite frankly, a bit of an arsehole. “I am convinced Morrisey is a twat, and anyone who says otherwise is a wanker,” said the Professor yesterday.
Professor Sogorski last hit the headlines in 1988 when he claimed that page three model Samantha Fox was a “boiler”.
• From Viz
Morrissey ‘Still a Twat in Parallel Universe’ — Hawking
PHYSICS boffin Professor STEPHEN HAWKING has confirmed that pop singer MORRISSEY would remain a bell-end in every conceivable alternate universe.
Hawking, 73, was delivering a lecture at the Sydney Opera House last night when he made the startling announcement regarding the ex-Smiths frontman.
The Cambridge egghead told attendees: “Theoretical physics may one day be able to prove the existence of multiple universes outside our own. We can predict very little about what these parallel universes would be like, but we do know one thing: Morrissey would still be a twat in them.”
Hawking went on to explain his revelation with a series of complex equations.
He said: “Multiple universes would probably differ from our own in almost every way. They would be made up of different chemical elements which themselves would be made of fundamental particles different from the ones we have identified. They may even be governed by completely differnt laws of physics. The only constant would be Morrissey behaving like an arse and saying twattish things.”
The Brief History of Time author continued: “The possibilities in a parallel universe are genuinely limitless: the sky could be purple, the moon could be made of Styrofoam, cats could talk. Absolutely anything is feasible — except Morrissey not being a dick.”
“He still would be one, I’m afraid,” he added. “Nothing so sure.” Hawking has announced plans for a follow-up lecture next week at the Royal Albert Hall, in which he will hypothesise that Sting could still get on everybody’s tits in a black hole.
• From Viz
• We Worship Silence, Pass the Gates (2011)
• House of Pyromania, Many Seek (Few Find) (1987)
• X-Newly Inc, Oz Wuwu 9 (2003)
• Iujisba, Abominable Abdominal (Killer Bees EP) (1986)
• Danny Yaup, Vision Ov (1969)
• Fizzy Glamsters, Keict (1991)
• Roxane Redmoor, Voxational DJ (2008)
• Kogar Fjö, Capnotic Micrographs (1993)
• Dynamic and the Zone, Cocodrilo Rock (1977)
• იჰვიუხე, პეპლები მთვარის (2002)
• Quickfinger, Ship on a Painted Ocean (1980)
• Earl Vanburgh, Glad (but) Sad (1965)
• Aquilæ ζ, Songs of Seventeen Stars (1979)
• Kozmik Krusaders, Hexen Zoo (1998)
• Quanta Thalassia, This Is Si Siht (2010)
• Thallium Addicts, Thanatographic (1999)
• X Xepj Xo, On an Ebb (2014)
• Orion’s Cradle, Live in Oslo (1987)
• Gazing on Bifrost, By the Swords (1976)
• Ausna, Z.M.E. (1977)
• Obelisk Pact, Long You’ll Slide (2003)
• Um Nuhotóbareac, L’Xac Rey (2011)
A passionately socialist Anglican priest and proud member of the LGBTQ+ Community no longer approves of Moz:
The song I can no longer listen to
“This Charming Man”. Much as I like the song, Morrissey has ceased to be charming for me.
• ‘No Jacket Required would be the soundtrack of hell’: the Rev Richard Coles’s honest playlist, The Guardian, 10i22
Papyrocentric Performativity Presents:
• Psyches and Psychoses – the work of Guy de Maupassant
• Buzz Off – The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks (1984)
• Drink Ink – The Way to Dusty Death, Alistair MacLean (1973)
• Littlerature – In Miniature: How Small Things Illuminate the World, Simon Garfield (Canongate 2018)
• Le Paon dans les Pyrénées – The Man in the Red Coat, Julian Barnes (Penguin 2019)
• Bon and Off – Two Sides to Every Glory: AC/DC: The Complete Biography, Paul Stenning (Chrome Dreams 2005)
• The Fuel in the Skull – The Jewel in the Skull, Michael Moorcock (1969)
• Suspicious Substance – Substance: Inside New Order, Peter Hook (Simon & Schuster, 2016)
Or Read a Review at Random: RaRaR